New Reminders: Manipulation
by Ardith Hoff
Manipulative people use cunning and craftiness in their deceitful schemes, trying to manipulate and control others. Advertisers are notorious for trying to manipulate parents into buying the latest toy or gadget for their children. They make the product look exciting and hope the children will beg their parents to buy it for them for Christmas or a birthday gift. People in relationships often try to manipulate the other person in the relationship to get their way. For example, controlling husbands try to keep their wives from certain activities and wives become adept at fooling their husbands into thinking he is in control and do as they please anyway, and vice versa. Those are not healthy relationships. Manipulation is wrong, no matter who is doing the manipulating.
Manipulation almost always involves lying, not always in words, but in actions as well. Doing something to make someone think you are doing something else is a lie. A teenager might say they are going to a friend’s house, when they are actually only going to the friend’s house to pick up the friend to go somewhere their parents wouldn’t approve of.
People might use flattery to cheat or steal something. They might pretend to be kind, caring, or helpful, while in reality wanting to control another’s actions, to get what they want. In relationships, one partner might try to isolate the other, in order to keep the other one from being influenced by someone or something outside the relationship. Another tactic is to devalue the other person to make them think they are inferior, and their opinions don’t matter. In extreme cases, a partner might use fear or violence to control the other. Battered women fall prey to that kind of intimidation.
Some people might even try to manipulate God, or to twist His word to suit their purposes. They might take verses out of context to try to justify their beliefs or behavior. We ourselves might think we know what God wants, but we are actually rationalizing so that we can do what we want. All too often, we act like children trying to manipulate our Father into giving us what we want. We need to grow in faith to guard against such behavior.
“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.” Ephesians 4:14. To avoid being easily swayed and misled, we are encouraged to grow in wisdom, judgment, and a solid understanding of God’s word. By anchoring ourselves in His teachings, we can navigate through the lies and remain unwavering in our convictions.